Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The patronizing world of life and love.

The young-sounding DJ inwardly sighs and readies himself for his radio program. Thoughts inside his head are all aswirl with potential possibilities and lovelorn ladies crying for their men, and lovelorn men crying for their ladies.

He pushes his thoughts aside and plays the canned music that characterizes what love is all about in this country.

"Welcome to Doctor Love with R----- V-----.Lahat ng mga love problems niyo, itawag niyo lang dito sa numerong -------."

Cut to commercial. The DJ waits for his first caller.

"Eto na ang ating caller, si Mel. Mel, ano ang inyong problema iha?"

(Barely discernible words come over the line)

"Iha, paki-laksan at hindi kita marinig." A nice-sounding voice should mask my irritation, the DJ thinks.

Incoherence improves to mumbles, and finally the DJ is able to catch bits and pieces.

"...kasi itatanong ko lang sana kung meron ba talagang pagtingin sa akin ang lalakeng ito."

"Sino ba siya, katrabaho mo?"

"Opo, katrabaho ko po."

"Naging kayo ba, o niligawan ka ba ng lalakeng ito?"

"Hindi po. Pero may nangyari po kasi saming dalawa eh..."

"Ah, may nangyari. At pagkatapos nito?"

"Nawala na po."

"At ano ang status ng lalake? May girlfriend na ba, o kasal na, o single pa rin?"

"Kasal na po siya eh."

"Eh! Kasal na pala siya pero gusto mo pa ring makipagbalikan? Naku iha," cluck-clucks the DJ.

"Mahal mo ba siya?"

"Hindi ko po alam eh."

"Mahirap yan, Mel. Kasal na ang lalakeng ito. Kailangan mo nang mag-move forward sa buhay mo."

He readies his next salvo, chest out, righteous indignation stirring in the atmosphere.

"Gusto mo bang maging HOMEWRRRRECKER? Gusto mo bang pagusapan ka sa pamilya na KABIT? Gusto mo ba lahat yun?"

"Hindi po.."

"Tama yan. Kaya I'm playing this next song, I'm Missing You, para sayo, para maka-get over ka na sa lalakeng yan."

"Thank you po."