Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Thought Project: Week 5

Would you ever be willing to sink so low just so you could claw your way back up, or are you fine with who you are?

____________________________

I really don't get the concept of sinking so low so one can rise and learn from it.
Why experiment and crush yourself? Why burn yourself? To know that it can heal? To know yourself? Just don't burn yourself in the first place. I say, if a situation does not sink you ...don't ask for it. Simple.

Hey, that's what the older folks are out there for... they've probably been there, so ask and listen to wisdom.

I recall chatting about this with net user...or maybe I wrote it in one of my blogs? Don't exactly remember...anyway, I came up with this - If we have to try everything ourselves for the experience we'd be losing so much time. By the time we got the answers we'd be close to death. It'd be such a waste of time. So why not just gather what the older folks know, sift through it, trust the logical ones and move from there. Then you'd have more time in life to enjoy the answers =)

- 'Sus

you know what, i think those sucky starts are underrated...so my answer is pretty obvious...yes i will be willing. generally, i'm fine with who and where i am right now, but there are still loads to learn when you are open to being uncomfortable. as long as by "sinking low" you don't mean doing anything that will hurt innocent parties, then yes, definitely. i think adventuring is always more than just geography. there's the internal mindmap (and heart map, and spirit map, and...) to explore as well :)

- Zane

In a heartbeat.

The problem is, I can be pretty brash with things like these. I may forget the stakes of the game, so I entertain the scenario through fantasies - I rise, Phoenix-like, from the ashes of my previous failures and become triumphant. I give excellent advice, I am universally admired, I am humble and modest about my achievements, I am perfect.

I tend to spend a bit more time in my fantasy world than in my reality, so I am obviously not fine with who I am. Right now, at least.

I have nothing against struggles, provided they give you the experience you need. If you want to prove yourself, you know what road to go down - and that is where my problem lies. I don't know which one.

To pit yourself against the teeming humanity is already forbidding. Struggling for something you're not even sure of is suicidal.

- Sarah

UPDATE: 21 December 2006, 4:53 PM

Posting Jon and Djong's answers. Sorry for perennial lateness, guys.

Probably not. At least as far as "Willing" is concerned.

I'd like to think I know myself. My oftentimes sarcastic (sardonic?) sense of humor is the tip of a fairly pessimistic worldview. Not "doom and gloom" pessimism, but more like "Murphy's Law" pessimism. But judging on how often I've skated the line between the two, I sincerely don't think that "letting myself go" and sinking to the bottom will be something I can get back up from.

My trying-to-be-simple philosophy is "do your best, and the rest will work itself out". It's a daily struggle to maintain my sunny (ha. ha.) disposition and not give in the anger, the bitterness, and the cynicism. If I were to quit that struggle, then sheer intertia would probably keep me freefalling until I hit the bottom. And in that decisive, Road-to-Damascus moment when I have pick myself up again, I'll look up at how far I've fallen and probably shrug my shoulders and say "Fuck it. It's probably not going to work anyway."

So no, I'm not "willing" to let myself sink to any depths. I've always thought that it's precisely the struggle to stay afloat that defines who I am. I may not be completely content with who I am, but I like even less the probability of becoming worse than I currently am.

Besides, I do enough sinking just by gravity and inertia as it is. No need to speed things up.

There, I think I've strangled enough metaphors for one day.

- Jon Z.

hmmm...

i guess, from experience, sinking "so low" is always a good opportunity to get to know yourself better. in my case, it took quite a harrowing experience (for my standards, it was harrowing. i realize other people have had worse) for me to be comfortable with who i am, and to be at ease in my own skin, because it tested my limits, and showed me how far i can go without help from anybody else. after seeing what i'm capable of, i became more confident.

because of that, i believe that everyone should have at least one "harrowing" experience to turn them around, to get them thinking more about themselves. 'course, if we can already get to know more of ourselves without having to sink into such levels of despair, well and good. but sometimes, going through the depths of hell just does something to ya. builds... character, lets you know you're made of sterner stuff. :p

- Djong